“I am still in happy astonishment that I am the inaugural recipient of Big Show. It has deeply rearranged me and is continuing to change me from a state of waiting and numbness to a place of inspiration and play in my daily life, my art practice, and my community. The Fly on a Wall team has helped lift me out of hierarchical concepts that I was trained in and encouraged me to listen to my intuition, to Life, to my heart, and to fellow artists. This process has brought me closer to questions of intimacy, failure, exhaustion, renewal, and JOY.  Each of the extraordinary artists at Fly on a Wall has opened a door to a return to freedom in me that I didn’t know would happen in this lifetime! To say that I am grateful is an understatement. I’m still exhaling. It’s been healing, it’s been a beginning for me as a middle-aged single mama. To have the space to rehearse, the wisdom and depth of the Fly on a Wall team and the financial offering to create and live in these questions has not just changed me, but healed my ideas of what life can be and brought much joy and freedom to my relationship with making performance as well as my relationship to myself as a mother, daughter, sister, citizen, spirit.” - Lucy Smith